7/10/2017
Music is something that shapes all of us. It influences us, makes us feel different sensations and stimulates the brain to transport us into different situations and worlds, feeling what we hear as an experience. As Plato described it, “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.” Ever since I was young, I have always loved music. In my elementary school, music class was my favorite time of the week, getting to play and create and distract myself through music that was probably not too soothing for others to hear. I sang in my church’s choir and always wanted to learn an instrument. Due to my financial situation, I was unable to get any instrument until my god-mother gave me her own saxophone and I joined the middle school band. This was my first true step into music, and I became extremely passionate in a few short months. But at this point, as I was starting to advance, I heard an album that changed my whole perception on what the saxophone could do. To me, as it is to most people, the saxophone was used for marching bands as they go down the street playing the national anthem, or for the cats to play in dark, dimly lit jazz clubs. To me there was no other style, however in the summer of seventh grade, I found an album by saxophonist Claude Delangle, called à la française.
In this album, there is a work by Paule Maurice called Tableaux de Provence, which translates to “Pictures of Provence.” This five-movement work transported me to the life of Paule, who lived a rather short and tough life, filled with struggle and loss. These movements described the girls dancing in the square, a song for her love, a gypsy in the square, a song for the dead, and finally a bumblebee. Each of these made me see different scenes, and feel all along me as if the songs were written for my life. This introduction to classical music moved me, and I became a classical saxophonist. I learned the tableaux, starting with Farandoulo di chatouno, a dance for the girls, and as I learned it I became influenced by it, learning dances and moving to the music. The piece was joyous and bouncing, with a multitude of different ideas to follow with the focus being happiness. Dancing across the notes as I went I found new technique as it took skill and speed to be able to play it. I finished to the point where I could play it, but whenever I played it I never felt that I was truly speaking with the movement, however I still chose to move to Cansoun per ma mio.
This second movement is where I learned to feel. At this point in my life I was still far too young to feel loss, or to feel love in the sense of romance, feeling embracement, security or passion. I could not possibly do it justice, with no such experience underneath me, and instead only the feelings of maternal and paternal love, perhaps friendships and a small amount of loneliness, but I was far too young to be bothered by it. However, I saw things in my dreams as I learned these simple black marks on the paper. I saw myself in love, I saw myself at an altar getting married, saw fear of losing this love. Perhaps this is still what I feel today, as the love I feel for my love is what pushes me to move on, to write these words on this paper, and to stay moving, continuing where all feels hopeless. I fear loss as the work conveys, although I had known no-one to pass in my lifetime. And I played what I felt. The movement is structured as a crescendo to a climax, and then it decrescendos into nothing. As the piece built I found my love, and found the passion of loss, then the remembrance that follows.
The third movement, La bohémienne, or the gypsy, is what brought me into the community I have thus not mentioned. The music community, or the band in my home. I played in a small competition these three works and was noticed by many professionals as a player with potential. They began to work with me, giving me lessons, advancing my skills and preparing me for where I am today. I remained in the band all throughout high school, and met all my friends along the way. Music has shaped my life as I have grown myself. I found myself competing in music, to try and prove to myself that I am the best that I could be. This was tougher than I thought, because as I improved, so did my standards, and it is my belief that I will never believe I am “good enough.” I competed within my band, with my friends and became the winner of my school’s concerto competition, placing me at the head of my school. I auditioned for many colleges with the hopes to continue within this musical community and turn my passion into a career, and with success I found myself at Florida State University. Now I hope to continue moving from my original musical community into the new community here at Florida State and beyond. Hopefully I can find myself a creator as well as a player, and I can begin to tell my stories through music.
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All goes back to Paule Maurice’s work, which was my inspiration and my breakthrough into today, where I found footing for myself to learn and improve. It taught me how to be myself and how to be more than what I meant to be. It almost sounds cheesy, however this piece and music made my life. It chose my decisions for me, gave me more emotion to express as well as to feel, and gave me new insights and wisdom. The last part is the hardest, however in the same way as reading a story into someone’s life may teach you the right and wrong about an experience, feeling the experience can do the same thing. Learning comes in many forms, and for me I thank music, and I thank the friends I made with it.